Friday, May 16, 2008
Pregnancy Week 39 - Day 275: The Dad's guide to Labour
Nothing new to report today, just a few thoughts.

One of the weird things (for me) about waiting for labour, is how to know when labour has started (yeah, ok, so I'm sure Karin will know, but I'm thinking from the man's perspective here).

Before I started reading the pregnancy books and attending ante-natal classes, I hadn't realised how much mis-information about labour we pick up from movies/TV/books - and how little men seem to know (or want to know) about labour.

So without further ado, here is Daniel's List of Labour Facts for Men ®
(note: I offer no guarantees that what you read here is 100% accurate - it's simply my understanding of how things are...!
Plus, I can almost guarantee that my view on labour will change within the next few days after I've experienced Karin go through it):
  1. Contrary to what you see on the movies, labour does not start with your partner's waters breaking. In fact, in a lot of pregnancies the waters are the last thing to break. They normally break because the baby's head is pushed down hard enough to rupture the membrane that holds them in place - and this usually only happens after enough contracts have happened to get the baby's head to the bottom of the pelvis. Once the waters have broken, you normally have 12-24 hours before the baby has to be born due to risk of infection.

  2. Labour has three (classical) stages:
    The 1st Stage (early labour) is when the uterus starts to contract to force the baby down into the pelvis - during this stage the cervix is starting to dilate.
    The 2nd stage is all about pushing the baby out, and is when the baby is actually born - at this stage the cervix is fully dilated.
    The 3rd stage is the birthing of the placenta.
    When you hear someone talking about a "48 hour labour" or something like that, they're usually talking about the length of the first stage.

  3. There's no easy way to tell you're in labour until the contractions become regular (once they're 5 mins apart, and about 30-50secs long, you're regarded as being in Established Labour).
    This was one of the hardest things for me to grasp: like most men (I suspect) I want things to be black and white: what signs do I look for to tell that we're in labour? How do I know we're definitely in labour? The answer is: you can't. At least, not until you're in Established Labour.

    [In our ante-natal classes, we did a great exercise which demonstrates this: we were given a number of playing cards, each describing a sign of labour (e.g. irregular contractions, cramps, waters breaking, the "show" (ejection of a mucus plug), burst of energy (nesting), etc etc. We then had to shuffle the cards and "deal a labour". In some cases, after seeing all the signs, labour would stop again. The purpose of the exercise is to demonstrate that labour doesn't follow any sort of preset pattern, and you have to be prepared for any eventuality - including labour stopping and you having to go back to waiting for a few days again.]

    The fact that labour can go *backwards* really threw me.

  4. Between the 1st and 2nd stages is something called Transition. It's called this because this is when your partner's body is transitioning from a contracting phase to a pushing phase (and is where the cervix is dilating the last few centimetres). Remember in the movies when they refer to your partner swearing or acting very differently than normal during labour? This is the what Transition can cause... if your partner is going to feel like giving up, this is when it will happen, and this is when they need your support most of all. Having said that, apparently some women don't even notice transition.
Books
Most of the books I read were Karin's books.
However, I did read one book targeted at Dads/Men which was fantastic.
(I also read a lot of mediocre ones, and this was the best of the lot).

It's called:

The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year by Mitchell Beazley Health

And if you want some light reading (and lots of play ideas) check this one out. It's absolutely brilliant:


Dad Stuff: Shedloads of Ideas for Dads by Steve Caplin and Simon Rose

That's all for now.
5/16/2008 3:26 PM GMT Standard Time  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
Saturday, May 17, 2008 7:45:44 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Thanks for the link Dan. We appreciate it. :)

Interesting - I was told that there were four stages;
- Pre labour
- Established labour
- Birthing
- Placenta
I can understand why 2nd stage is all compacted as one though. I wonder if it's different countries that explain that or whether it's the 15 yrs since I heard it that makes the difference?

Transition is pretty fun (well, ok it depends on which perspective you see it from - I enjoyed it... kind of...) - and it's usually where women who don't swear often do, and those who always do, don't!

And yes, she will need you then the most, and you might even need to be quite vocal and loud with her at that stage, since it's the time where she will be the most introspective and may not even hear you. You are not only her support person, but the person who will communicate what her needs, desires and positions to anyone around you. But obviously you will know that already so no need to teach you to suck eggs :P

Good on you guys for the home birth - you'll love it. We definitely enjoyed our experience with it. Don't forget to have all cameras, spare batteries all ready for the moments. Our love and thoughts with you three!
Carmina
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